It was time to fly between continents.  My route was Milan-Madrid-Buenos Aires. I flew the Spanish airline Iberia and it was actually quite nice. Well,  let’s rewind that.  The flight between Madrid and Buenos Aires was perfectly fine.  Pleasant, I could even say.  The flight between Milan and Madrid. . . not so much.  This was probably the teeniest, tiniest seat arranged flight I have ever seen;  and remember I flew RyanAir!!  To beat RyanAir in the “cramped” category is an astonishing feat.  These seats were PACKED together. Think circus clowns in a car eating sardines.

I should have known something was awry when the airline emailed me a few days prior: “We have changed the type of aircraft for this flight and, as the seat distribution is different, we have booked you another seat with similar characteristics.”  Right there and then a red flagged should have waved in my brain.  But instead of a red flag I turn my attention to a second email from Iberia offering me lounge services for my inconvenience.  Oh hello lounge access!  You know the relationship between me and lounges.  It’s my unrequited love around air travel.  During my entire flight from Milan-Madrid, I sat in the middle seat squished and stuffy, but reminding myself I get to go in the lounge for my 3 hour layover.  Wohoo!    When I arrived in Madrid I casually swaggered up to the Iberia lounge and showed them my confirmation email.

The exchange between myself and the lounge agent went something like this:

Hello!  I have this email confirmation regarding lounge access for my layover.
Great.  Can I see it please?
Here you go! *a bit too cheerily*
Oh no.  No I’m sorry.  This lounge access isn’t for Madrid.  It is for Bilbao.
Where is Bilbao?
Spain.
*Totally confused* Am I going to Bilbao?  Do I have a layover there?
No, your layover is here in Madrid.
 Oookay. Then why would I want lounge access in Bilbao?
I guess the airline would like to offer you the lounge if you are ever in Bilbao.
That makes absolutely zero sense to me.
I’m sorry Miss Weatherford.
*Did she just intentionally mispronounce my name to add insult to injury?!*
Goodbye.
*Argh!  Airport lounges why do you taunt me?!*

Just like the last time, I made my way back out to the common area with the general population.  And you know what?  It was quite fine.  More than fine actually.  I ate common food, listened to a common podcast, and made common conversation with nice people.  Maybe airline lounges aren’t all they are cracked up to be.  Maybe the allure of the lounge is the most appealing part about the whole situation. . .Oh who am I kidding?  They are fabulous and wonderfully stocked with free coffee, food and wifi.  I cursed the lounge that night.  I made a promise that this war wasn’t over.  I will seek my revenge and when I do it will be oh so sweet.

In related news, let me know if you’re planning to go to Bilbao, Spain in the near future.  I have airport lounge access I’m looking to unload at a fair price.